ABC's of Drum Corps (Draft, not published)

The ABCs of Drum & Bugle Corps: Alternative Braggadocio Concepts

by Cozy Baker (ABC: A Baker, Cozy)

An unaBridgemen “Corpsinary” of Drum & Bugle…uh, Brass Corp(oration)s

Alternative Braggadocio Concepts

An unaBridgemen Dictionary of Drum & Bugle Corps

© 2007, published by Mirage Senior Boke Choke Press

“I love deadlines, especially that whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” ~ Douglas Adams, scribbler of Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Universe

AL: American Legion in Miami, Chicago, Miami, Detroit, Miami…. [VFW (yep, Miami), not Combine or DCI.]

A-Team: Mr. T proudly carrying the National Colors/Colours. [Honor Guard.]

ATV: Pit Crew tractor. Awesome in the hands of skilled daredevils; e.g., Bluecoats loading after a show. [Golf Cart, John Deere, Lawn Mower.] 2. AstroTurf® Visuals? [AstroTurf®, Viz.]

accelerando: 1. Overused pedal on Pit Crew ATVs. [Deaccelerando, Golf Cart, Lawn Mower.] 2. Drum Line on steroids.

adjudicator: Judge from Rodeo Drive. [Clipboard, Judge.]

ad nauseam: Wretched “sameism.” By intermission, many were bored, checking the stock market, retching, ad nauseam. [Et Cetera.]

aficionado: If you can spell this, then you already know the perils and thrill of being a Corps Nuts.

AFL: American Flag Line, old term. [A-team, Honor Guard, Color Guard]

age-out: Burned out performer who needs to crash before returning to school/work. DCA? “Not now. Hmm, DCA looks enticing.”

aisle: 1. Seats in stadiums for Staff to watch their Corps. [Usher.] 2. Room on the Bus to spread out to sleep – For the daring only. [Bus.]

alto: 1. Too Flugel to be a Mello. 2. Mid-voice when Corps sings ambrosian chant on the field.

alumni: 1. Depression era Survivors, Baby Boomers, X-generation and more in a booming spurt of growth in Drum Corps – Our Revival. [DCA, Ol’ Fogy, Seniors.] 2. Age-outs or Burnouts who look back fondly on the Summer of ’42, ’52, ’62, ’72, ’82, the Ties in the nineties….

amplification: 1. Cap Head, Instructor, Staff or Tech who’s blown his/her top. 2. Sure-fire way to electrocute Electronics personnel…eventually during a summer thunderstorm. [Electronics.]

announcer/narrator: 1. Richard I. Blake XXet al. 2. Local personalities who mean well but stumble over “Modest M(o)ussorgsky…Rimsky-Korsakov…Rachmaninoff orchestrated by Respighi,” ad classico, even which Corps is actually taking the field (George’s dad, AMC-TV’s Nick Clooney). Thank you, sincerely, for your contributions! [Band.] 3. Comic on a mike who shouts at DCI Madison Senior ‘99, “And making his debut with the Kilties, DCWorld’s very own….” [;Peashey.]

any key: Car key that DCI majority voters grabbed in their rush to leave immediately after approving the birth of “Brass Corps” in 2000. (“Hoist with one’s own petard.”) [Brass, Bugle, G, Horn, Lamp.]

Any Key Aeon: Current Corps era which replaced the Geerassic Era of Brass Corpsdom.

arc: Circle with missing segments, sometimes missing bodies. Arc! I hear yon drum corps. [Drill, Horn line.]

arrangement: 1. Chorded notes of existing Composition arranged on parchment. 2. A cozy affair ‘twixt some Boreds and Exec. Directors, Directors and Cap Heads, Techs and Members, and on down the food chain.

arranger: Disarranged napkin scribbler of deranged music, be it Brass or percolator. [Composer.]

artsy fartsy: Who cares. (No question mark required; it’s rhetorical.) [;Fartsy, Arte.]

AstroTurf®: Wonderful for Corps, dangerous for contact sports…Hmm, isn’t Drum Corps a contact sport? [Crash, Judge, Saboteur, Shoveling.]

audition: From the nervous multitudes, two lucky performers selected by the Instructor gawds to fill two openings. The audition begins not at Open House, but months before, if one is to be prepared. [Camp, Open House; Bond, Peter Bond, for tips.]

auxiliary: Silks, Stage Right. Sabres y Rifles, stage a la izquierda. Read “auxiliary.” Close your eyes for the Visual. Practice writing on a chalkboard 128 times after Camp. Now, please remember how to spell it.

B “Build the bingo halls and they will come.” – Cozyism

Bb: A sharp idea to Marching Bands and some Corps. See Any Key, Band, BOA, Blue Devils, Bugle, Cadets, G, Intonation, Lamp.

BOA: Bands of McCormick.

baby boomers: DCA. [Ol’ Fogy.]

band: 1. Not Corps. A fine world of its own, a beloved cousin of Corpsdom. 2. Hopkins 24/7. 3. What Announcers keep saying during the Summer.

barefoot: 1. The preference of many of the CG a field. [Sabot, Saboteur.] 2. Lack of footwear in the park.

bari: A Euphonium on a diet, and the two most difficult horns to march in terms of physical endurance. (Sorry Contras.)

baton: Li’l stick used by Phantom Regiment Conductors and Cabs’ Jimmy Russo. [Spin, Twirl; Fred J. Miller, Inc.]

battery: A bunch of Guzz diddling Energizer bunnies with no turn-off switch. [Drumhead, Drummer.]